"It doesnt matter what I try to do in life it all ends the same..."

Well today.. Seprember 5th, 2005 Would have been a 1 month relationship.. Would have been my first and only 1 month relationship.. May I remind you I said Would have been.. I feel like shit.. I know im a failure and I cant succeed in anything.. In life I am no one.. Everything I have every tryed to become I cant.. I cant succeed in a relationship I cant even fucking spell succeed right.. I flunked outa school.. Yes thats right for all you at school that know me and wondered were the hell I am.. Im a fucking drop out.. I have nothing in life.. The only thing I have to wake up for every morning is my Video games.. If it werent for that.. I wouldent mind not waking up..

To my family I am a joke.. to them its better if I wasnt there.. there isnt an instance were I cant go to a family get together and I am the fucking joke threw out the whole time.. for example.. Last weekend I went to my aunts and they were talking about my cuzin going to Pre-School.. And then they were like they cant move since he will be going to pre-school soon.. Then someone else said.. "Oooh thats alright he can just be a Pre-School Drop Out.. Hahahaha"

Not even my own fucking godmother cant go one day of seeing me without making a joke about me.. And its not even in the Loving Joking matter.. It hurt.. I know im a fucking failure and im reminded it every day.. Oooh dont worry I got my mother to be telling me that.. And then my brother is always there to make sure I feel like shit as well.. Someone end this... I need to find someone.. Someone that will always be for me.. threw rough times.. Threw sad times.. threw depressing times.. because god knows not a day goes by im not depressed.. Anyone? Plz.. or am I just alone in this world.. because right now thats exactly the way I feel..

I like girls.. I would Like to find a girl and be there for her and her there for me.. There is a girl I like that lives in this town.. She is fun and she talks to me once in a while.. she use to talk to me more than lately.. I doubt she knows who she is but chances are she will read this.. If she cared at all.. Might even respond... Who knows.. She will read this part and probably be sick of me or something or just think im trying to hard.. who knows what goes threw girls minds.. But I want to know if she would like to hang out sometime..? mabey.. if you know who you are.. PLZ send me a note.. I could use someone to talk to..

"And thus I go back to my corner to rot..."